Perfume = Best Movie of the Year

An exquisitely shot, expertly acted unrelenting and original story…yeah you heard me, it’s amazing.

New Kirk Announced

No, no exclamation point. Mike Vogel will be stepping into the captain’s cahir for STXI, leaving me to ask just one question…who the hell is Mike Vogel? I looked him up on google and got a bunch of pictures for some nancy reject from O-Town. Not gonna post that crap. So instead you get salt vampire, suck it.

I like cheese

Ripoff

It’s between Thailand and India

Yesterday in a protest against the ruling junta in Myanmar, police fired automatic weapons into a crowd of unarmed people. Today they’re raiding monastaries and removing monks who were behind organizing the demonstration. The cause of the protest? 400% increase in tariffs on food. Not to get too critical of a foreign government, but you gotta know you’re on the wrong side of an argument when you start killing monks and starving your people.

TAINTED: BUSTED

The Feds finally cracked down on the Oakland-based marijuana-lacing candy company TAINTED last night, seizing hundreds of pot brownies and over 450 plants. Gotta say this was no big surprise considering how open they were about selling their product. They had a booth at Power to the Peaceful last month that was getting a considerable amount of attention, the hour long queues probably didn’t help their cover much.

“Manufacturing, distributing and possessing marijuana-laced products is in clear violation of federal law. We will continue to shut down these production lines, one marijuana-candy factory at a time,” DEA agent Javier Pena said.

Thanks Pena, we can all sleep easier now knowing all those Mr. Greenbud and Buddfinga bars are off the streets. Lousy pot hooligans and their shenanigans!

Apples are good for something after all!

WRY??? Part 2

Why the hell is Uwe Boll still getting money to make complete shit movies? Marketers and ad execs, wake up! This guy is a complete hack! His movies suck!

A prolific hack too, that doesn’t seem to learn from his mistakes. His upcoming opuses include Postal, Dungeon Siege, Sabotage 1943, Farcry, Legend: Hand of God, and Zombie Massacre:

“I’d like Zombie Massacre to be a harsh zombie movie like 28 Days Later, ” says Uwe Boll.

And I’d like to not shit my pants every time I eat Coldstone, but the shit hand always fills up faster.

Stop making movies!

WTF? Zombie Amoeba?

Leave it to nature to jump on the zombie bandwagon. What’s next? Creepy long-haired Japanese girls? Nature, you unoriginal hack.

“The amoeba typically live in lake bottoms, grazing off algae and bacteria in the sediment. Beach said people become infected when they wade through shallow water and stir up the bottom. If someone allows water to shoot up the nose — say, by doing a cannonball off a cliff — the amoeba can latch onto the person’s olfactory nerve.The amoeba destroys tissue as it makes its way up to the brain.”

What if I do a switchblade?

BTW, if you let someone who is infected with the bacteria, Naegleria, bite your olfactory nerve, then you can get it too.

Giraffe Fight!

I didn’t realize they used weapons and combos, crazy

Taco Town