Cannibal Corpse fucking loves WOW

FUCK YOU ALOHA AIRLINES!

My fiance and I are on the couch winding down Sunday evening, watching a little TV, talkign about our wedding and how wondeful it’s going to be, when all a sudden, something on the TV catches our eye…Aloha Airlines delcares bankruptcy. At first, we guffawed and did what most people watching would have done, said, “Well thank god we don’t have tickets on Aloha,” and went about our merry day. But we actually did have tickets on Aloha Airlines, tickets for our wedding that we bought through Hotwire. Thus began the search to get a refund on our money, money that fucking Aloha Airlines basically stole out of my goddamn pocket and said whoops! Sorry, we’re delinquent shitheads, oh and we’ll be keeping your $500. Thanks you fucking fucktards…oh I forgot to warn you at the top, there’s going to be some swearing.

First we go to Aloha Airlines, where we’re greeted with this wonderful little announcement:

Q: Can I get a refund?

A: Contact your travel agent or credit card company to request a refund.

Q: What if I paid by check or cash can I still get a refund?

A: You can file a claim with the Bankruptcy Court.

Gee thanks. Below that is a message to contact United Airlines who have agreed to set up flights for those gullible enough to believe that you actually get what you pay for in this world, meaning me. While I’m on hold…for 2 goddamn hours with United…my fiance is calling Aloha Airlines, Hotwire, and the credit card company all dead ends.

Finally I em reunited with my long lost ESL United customer service friends. If you haven’t read my past posts about this helpful lot, than know this, they are everything but. Example, my first attempt to get tickets for our wedding was through United customer service tryign to use my frequent flyer miles. No problem getting out there, but our return date was a black out date, I checked, it’s National Creamsicle Day, no joke, that’s a blackout date. So I moved on to purchasing the tickets with cash. After explicitly telling the agent to quote me prices before giving me itineries, she gave me a 10 minute diatribe (which I repeatedly tried to interrupt) involving a flight with 5 connections that ended with an outrageous sum, acting like she was doing me some huge favor by offering me the longest route at the highest amount of money while costing me the most amount of my patience possible.

This is to say nothing of the New Orleans flight I purchased a few years back that happened to coincide with a little national tragedy you might have heard of, Hurricane Katrina? I “spoke”, more like screamed at 6 different United agents before they agreed to give me my money back.

Well this time was no different, two hours on hold, god I hate the United theme song now, only to find out that they are only helping passengers who booked Aloha flights through United. Interesting, good information that might have been more useful on the website next to: If you have already been ticketed and we recommend you contact United Airlines…or maybe a message on their fucking hold system. Well I thanked him for all his help getting our money back and saving our wedding.

It’s ok though, it’s not like we’re budgeting every dollar for the wedding and associated expenses. It’s not like we’re being responsible with our money and not spending beyond our means. It’s not like we’re taking out loans or debts that we know we can’t pay back some fucking irresponsible fucking assholes who have driven our economy into the toilet.

I got your JUMBO loan right here!

Muhalo!

Shazam!

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I, for one, welcome our sausage-sorting robot masters

god. damn it.

these guys are just fucking evil lying scum. thanks for putting us back in the dark ages assholes.

SHOWS!!!

Guess who I’m going to see in May?!? Two guesses…
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Then MC Chris in June, famous for Hesh on 2021 and Fette’s Vette (check the Press A! video post), and this in March, maybe we get a Patton Oswalt drop-in, yes!

fuck, back to taxes…