So I had to switch WTD’s site URL to retain my anonymity and deliver you faithful nonexistent readers the rawest of the raw rantings. You’re probably wondering about the title of the post, or maybe you’re not in which case I recommend skipping the rest of this paragraph and looking at LOLCats or this vid of a swearing puppet. In any case, I’m going to plunge ahead and clear up this non-issue. 
Why isn’t it “You’ve got Artz on you” or, “You’ve got a dikfur on your back” you ask? Well because I already showed you cool pint glasses with all the Dharma stations on ‘em and two, by this time in your life, it should be obvious what a dick is for, and three (so I don’t end the sentence with a preposition, but instead turn it into a ridiculously long run-on sentence) because I just finished a fantasticly entertaining book called Stiff. Basically the book takes the show Six Feet Under about ten steps further and delves deep into explaining what happens to cadavers after their operators have gone to the big Coachella in the sky. Great passages in there explaining the various uses for organ donors in scientific experimentation, crash testing, forensic study, anatomical research, and sometimes cannibalism (I want honey).
In one part of the book Mary Roach writes about this Soviet scientist, Vladimir Demikhov who succesfully transplanted a puppy’s head onto another dog’s body, sick shit Vlad. Apparently 
the puppy could still drink water out of a bowl and nipped at his host body’s head before both dogs were euthanized. The work was taken a step further by an American scientist by the name Frankenst–er, Richard J. White (I think the “J” stands for “just shy of a playing with a full deck”) who transplanted a severed monkey head onto a decapitated host monkey body. I wonder if they had chilled monkey brains to celebrate? She then delves into organ transplants and dubious anecdotes about recipients getting strange sexual urges from their foreign organs. Btw, ever seen Frankenhooker? You should really, really run out and not see it. What? Don’t believe me? Then watch this! Still not convinced? Then watch this!
But I digress, I love to digress, seems like all I do these days is digress, but I digress, in Stiff, Mary also talks about a gelatenous substance being created to simulate human flesh for forensic experiments (you guessed it, simulant) aimed at figuring out how different weapons affect the body, without wasting corpses and creating those uncomfortable situations where the deceased’s relatives walk into the room to find their loved one being stabbed repeatedly with Bowie knives or shot full of holes.
Long story short, she got some on her shoe.
