On my way into work today, I spied with my little eye an elderly gentleman in short shorts and a t-shirt doing the white man overbite and holding a sign that read, “I Met Prince.” He was also holding a coin jar, but did not look like the type who would be begging for change/attention. Also, he looked miserable. So there’s an old dancing guy holding a sign full of crazy with contenance of pure misery just standing there…on the corner…why? If you’re going to do something completely batshit insane in public and go through the trouble of making props, you should at least act like you thought it was a good idea. Or maybe Prince cornholed him and he’s doing an ouch-ouch-my-ass-hurts dance. It really could go either way.
Speaking of getting cornholed, I just saw Shark Attack 3:Megalodon, and let me just tell you, it is amazing…ly bad. Should have been called ADR Shitfest: The Splattering, I have only myself to blame. It does have one of the most pimp lines I’ve ever seen work in a movie though. The rest of the movie consists of dubbed Russian mafia relatives, a guy wearing too much lipstick, and a heroine who can’t stop laughing in every_single_take trying to kill stock footage of what I guess is supposed to be a huge prehistoric shark. How do they do this you ask? Apparently by feeding it as many humans and boats as possible. The crack visual effects team must have been on a top ramen budget because they used the SAME stock shot of a shark coming out of the water and eating something on the surface three times, the last time trying to trick the audience by flipping it horizontally, ooooooo. Then there were great sequences like the guy hamming it up in the above pic, driving his jet-ski into the shark’s mouth…no I am not shitting you.
